Monday, June 16, 2014


Don't worry.

I'm not about to write a post about how I'm not going to be blogging anymore.

I'm not about to write a post about how my blog is going through some huge changes.


I'm about to write about how changes are hard on me. And the things that helped me as a kiddo.

I've always struggled with change and with the unknown. And I'm feeling that same way, sitting at the library, getting ready to tutor a few students on my first day of summer.

Kid is hanging out with his Pa (my dad), the hubs is teaching summer school. And I'm left wondering how fast will this summer fly by? As I grow my to-do list by leaps and bounds, will I get everything done?

Since I was little, I have had a very difficult time with change. My fourth grade teacher was out on maternity leave for the entire first semester. She came back after winter break. On the first day back to school in January, I was so nervous and anxious, I threw up. My breakfast flew all over my day care lady's bathroom. And I could not go to school. Would I like the new teacher? Would she be nice?

Even before that, though, I remember feeling nervous about the unknown. My best friend and next door neighbor had to meet me at the door of our Sunday School classroom and walk me in each week. Even though I knew everyone in the classroom. I was in first grade.

I dropped out of preschool because I couldn't wouldn't leave my mom's side. I had three cousins in that classroom. Still, I couldn't handle it.

While I am much more prepared to handle change, I have had a long history of anxiety when it comes to the unkown. In my thirty years, I have learned many ways to deal with my fear of change and the unknown and I feel as though I have a toolbox ready and waiting for when someone I know needs help. (I want to say my child, but he may not have deal with those issues and I don't want to project my problems onto him!)

Keep in mind that I am not an expert, nor am I a physchologist. I'm a mom. These are my Tips & Tricks.

1. Seek comfort. I imagine that it had to get old real quick bringing your child to school and waiting for her friend to walk her in the door. By my mom was only providing me with the comfort I needed to make that transition. This is something I would like to provide for Kid. Yes, I want to push him to do things that make him a little uncomfortable. That's how kids learn and grow. But, I also want him to know that it is okay to seek comfort if he needs it. I'll hold his hand as long as he needs me to. I'll wait with him until his friend is there to walk him into the Sunday School classroom.

2. Take it slowly. I couldn't handle having too many activities scheduled in a week. It was always too much "newness" for me. While I think that scheduled activities are wonderful, and a great place for children to learn how to interact with their peers, I also think that they can bring a lot of stress. Sidenote: I think that some people are far to scheduled and that kids need time to just play outside. If I notice that my child struggles with newness and/or change, I'm not going to sign him up for a million activities thinking that exposure will help him. We will do one new thing at a time, allowing Kid to get comfortable with the new situation until it is no longer "new."

3. Encouragement is priceless. My mom is the queen of encouragement and I'd like to follow in her shoes. She has always told me to work on breaking out of my shell, to practice making small talk. I can hear her saying, "You'll be glad you figured it out before I did...I'm fifty and just figuring it out. You're twenty. Get out there, girl." While she encourages me to break out of my shell, I will encourage Kid (and any other children Hubs and I may be blessed with).

I only hope that Hubs and I can provide for Kid what my parents provided for me. A helping hand. Encouraging words. An excuse to stay home if it was just getting to be too much. I hope that Hubs and I realize that, sometimes, kids can be pushed too hard. Sure, they're resiliant, but they can only take so much.

And at the end of the day, they just need a lap to sit on, arms to cuddle up in, and a kiss on the forehead.

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