Tips & Tricks :: Surviving Hospitalized Bed Rest {A Guest Post}

Through an amazing Facebook Mom's Group, I met a fellow bed-rester when she posted a question to the group about her water breaking at 23 weeks pregnant. She and I connected through Facebook and began swapping stories and tips for surviving our (very different types of) bed rests. I asked Jess of Mama Drama to give everyone some tips for surviving a hospitalized bed rest. How difficult! I couldn't imagine being cooped up in the hospital for any period of time. But, Jess has some fabulous tips for survival - both for mama and for family!

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Hi, I’m Jess from mamadramajess.blogspot.com. I’ve been sentenced to a slightly different form of bed rest than Lizzy- in the hospital, but with shower and bathroom privileges (so it could always be worse!) for up to 11 weeks. Currently completing week 2 of my sentence. While I am no expert, when you are away from home, there are a few things you need to figure out pretty quickly on how to survive in the hospital, so here is what I’ve come up with.

Managing Visitors

Most people can only visit on weekends, due to their work schedules. If it can be managed, having a few visitors on week days can help break up the monotony. If not, having visitors spaced out as much as possible is a great idea. Even though you might be bored and not doing anything all day, having a lot of people come visit can be exhausting- either emotionally or just because you aren’t used to so much stimulus. It can also put a real damper on the rest of your week, if you have 6 visitors Saturday and no one for the next 7 days. But pay attention to how you feel, some days too many visitors is better than none, and other days you may only want your partner with you. That said, always make sure you get alone time with your partner to connect and discuss things you may not be comfortable talking about in front of guests or other family members. Also, call the chaplain even if you just want to chat and not necessarily pray. They are very friendly and a new face always makes for a more interesting day.

Food

Request food for your family. My husband has a demanding job, and just asking him to suddenly be the sole provider and daycare-picker-upper of our 3 year old is an intense change for him. Asking him to cook is almost out of the question. He and my son come every night to see me and after the first 2 nights of watching them eat fast food, the Mama Guilt set in. So, when well-meaning friends and family asked what I needed, I asked if they could put together some small freezer meals. The response was dramatic. Somehow, the entire school my husband and I both work at found out and there is a sign up list. We get 3 home-cooked, freezable meals a week. It’s insane how amazing our work family is. It has helped my husband, and it is great when he brings the food by, because after the first 3 meals, you figure out the only good food in the hospital is breakfast. (Bring Tabasco/Chulula/Sriracha/Tapatio ANYTHING to disguise the flavor of over-microwaved, prepackaged chicken breast… Btw, I’m from Texas, can you tell?)

You know, you could always make good friends with the nurses, MAs, and your doc so they can smuggle you left over food from office baby showers (that just happened, and it was the best bagel I ever had).

I do want to add, if you are on bed rest, studies have shown that you actually lose a lot of weight and this can increase the chances of your baby, who may be a preemie, being smaller. So I have tried to increase my protein intake. The only problem is, your appetite significantly decreases when you don’t do anything all day, so that has been a real challenge to eat more.

Exercise

Talk to your doctor before you start any kind of physical activity. If you are on bed rest, clearly you are being asked to limit your mobility.

The internet is seriously lacking in variety on “bed rest exercises.” The main encouragement is avoid using abdominal muscles, and nothing too strenuous. After a week of doing nothing, 12 ankle rolls were exhausting. Also, bed rest can cause serious muscle loss after just 3 days, so any small amount of movement can be good!

Entertainment

Youtube and Netflix are my best friends. My hospital has good WiFi (videos never buffer) so I have a list of shows to watch. That said, I also have to have non-tech stuff to do while I watch. Those giant trivia/puzzle books are great, and I am currently trying to teach myself to knit/crochet on YouTube. There are also plenty of video tutorials on hair and makeup, and for Tomboys like me, this is like watching aliens learn to dance. Stick-on nails are fun, I don’t trust myself to not drop a bottle of nail polish in my bed (and I don’t want to guess how long it would take a nurse to come change my sheets). If you have a Nook or a Kindle, this is better than having a stack of books. Your bedside table can only hold so much, so very little is readily accessible. Friends who feel bad for you might lend you books, magazines, DVDs, or the best: their HBO Go password (Game of Thrones, anyone?) Also, every woman on bed rest I have met online has a blog. There’s a reason. We are bored and we have a lot to say! Try it, you might like it!

Sleep

This is one I cannot figure out. Earplugs and eye mask have been requested and we will see if this helps. I sleep, I just can’t get to where I feel like I’m getting good sleep. Nurses come in every 3-4 hours to take my temperature and blood pressure and I am a light sleeper, so it takes a while to fall back asleep. I also think they check in on me in between since I had an incident on Wednesday where I nearly blacked out. It’s fun to scare nurses, that should be added to the entertainment section… joking! But seriously, I am trying to maintain a sense of normal schedule so I try not to nap more than 30-60 min a day, just in case that messes up my sleep more. I have been offered sleep drugs, but I am pretty sure that is not an addiction I need to start now with a preemie on the way.

The biggest thing you can do for yourself is keep your spirits up. Doctor Google is good for informing, but if you are feeling the doom and gloom set in, GET OFF THE INTERNET! Worrying and stressing and crying is ok for a little bit, but if you dwell on “what could happen,” you’re in for a really long, awful hospital stay. I have found that concentrating on the small good things helps- a food service operator that asks me why I don’t want more dessert, nurses that love to talk, family and friends who text me nonstop to keep me entertained, pooping… that’s a big one, eat your fiber, girls! Hopefully this post helps someone, and if not, it certainly was therapeutic for me! Thanks for the opportunity, Lizzy.

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Thanks so much, Jess! I am so happy to hear that things are going well and that your little miss continues to grow!

Tips & Tricks :: Helping Your Toddler Survive Your Bed Rest

Was it just last week that I posted about surviving bed rest? Two weeks ago? I can't tell. The time is all flowing together. Either way, I recently gave some tips on making it through bed rest at home.

Instead of focusing on my own survival, I realized that my toddler needs to survive bed rest, too. He isn't quite two, but he knows what is going on. Kids are quick to notice change and it can easily throw them off.

Of course, I knew that bed rest would be hard on Kid. He's at that age where his parents are his everything. And to have one parent suddenly become bedridden has definitely taken its toll. The second week of bed rest was more difficult for Kid than the first. He got so frustrated with me one morning that he bit me. And not just a small nip. Oh no. A sink-your-teeth-in, I'm-royally-pissed-off-at-you chomp. I still have a bruise as evidence.

That's when I realized there was more to be done in terms of helping Kid survive this bed rest.

1. Snuggle as much as possible. Hubs gets Kid up each morning and plops him in bed with me as he gets ready and loads the car. Kid nestles right in and we get some quality one on one time. I think it is the physical contact that Kid misses most. Hugs just aren't the same when I can't lift him up. Bed time isn't the same when someone else puts him in his crib. So we have carved out lots of extra time for snuggles. We also warned his caregivers about this and they have been generous with their snuggles, too.

2. Don't lower any expectations. The rules you had in place before bed rest should remain. Kid goes to bed at the same time. He still has to ask to be excused from the dinner table. hitting is still an automatic time out (and biting!). Our expectations have not changed, which keeps life a little more "normal" for him. You always hear the experts talk about a child's need for predictability, and it is oh-so true.

3. Structure and routine will make life a million times easier. The fact that kids need (and thrive upon) structure and routine is well known. When life throws unexpected things at kids, they often react...you guessed it...unexpectedly. Now, obviously, it might be difficult to keep up all routines on while on bed rest. But, try. Try, try, try. Even simple things - like our typical Saturday morning pancakes. We still have pancakes, but the Daddy makes them know. If you usually meet some friends and their kids at the library on Tuesdays, see if one is willing to bring your child too. And don't worry about asking. People truly want to help!

4. Have a movie night (or 3) each week. We started this after I received a comment on my last Tips & Tricks post. A fellow bed rest mama left a comment with that idea, and it has been so fun! Granted, Kid doesn't have the attention span for a full-length movie, but it has been so fun! We all get cozy with a few snacks and everyone's beverage of choice. And Netflix pulls through with the Sesame Street win every time. It has been the perfect way to wind down after a long day - truly something we all look forward to.

How did you help your older kids survive bed rest?

Tips & Tricks :: Surviving Bed Rest

Being prescribed bed rest is kind of a blow to the ego. Everyone (that hasn't been on bed rest) tells you how great it will be to stay at home, not have to do anything, and just hang out. I'm here to tell you that bed rest really isn't that awesome.

I consider myself lucky. Bed rest for me started at 33 weeks pregnant. A lot of women are put on bed rest much earlier in pregnancy and have much more time to "do nothing."

Doctors prescribe bed rest for a variety of reasons, mine being signs of preterm labor. My first child was born 6 weeks early. This time around, my doctor wanted to keep a closer eye on things, in hopes to keep this baby in a little longer. The difficult piece, though, is that there is conflicting evidence as to whether or not bed rest truly helps. Of course, I will follow doctor's orders on this one.

Anyway!

Everything you need to know about surviving bed rest.

1. Continue with your regular day care routines for older children (or set up a care schedule). There is no way I would be able to follow my doctor's orders with a toddler here. If you don't have a regularly set daycare schedule, I suggest calling in all of the support people you have to take over at least some of the care of older children.

2. Plan easy meals for your partner to make. Maybe yours is a master chef. Mine is not. I sent him with a very thorough list to the grocery store with extremely simple crock pot meals in mind. My bed rest prescription allows me to get up to shower, use the bathroom, and eat meals. No cooking for me. Leaving simple directions for the hubs to throw a few ingredients into the crock pot has made his life much easier.

3. Make special time for your kiddos. I know I said to find them daycare while on bed rest. But, my little one has had a difficult time with his mama being on the couch all night when he is home. We have had to start a few new routines so he is sure to get his mama time in. I am also sure to wake up with the boys in the morning and get a few minutes of snuggles with Kid while Hubs gets ready. Not only is it beneficial for the toddler, it makes me feel like I am still needed.

4. Accept any and all help. My dad came by to pick up laundry yesterday. My mom picked Kid up for the day today and stuck around to clean the kitchen and bathroom. Friends have been swinging by with a warm lunch. Another girlfriend is dropping by with two freezer meals this afternoon. I have had friends drop of DVDs and books, others have come to just hang out. They've helped drive me to the doctor while the hubs has been at work. While I plan to make them each a little thank you gift, for now, I can only thank them.

Just beginning bed rest? Feel free to send me an email!

Are you a bed rest veteran yourself? What other tips do you have?

Tips & Tricks :: Camping with a Toddler

We are a camping family, through and through. We left this summer for just over a month of camping, and have a few more camping trips on the calendar.

I have to admit, though, that I am not currently the type that we pop a tent and sleep on the ground. Not with Kid around. When he's a little older, we will think about it. We have a pop-up camper at our disposal, so we use that instead. We only ever "tented it" when we were backpacking and hiking into far off campsites. Now, we drive up to campgrounds and camp that way. Kid loves it ... he really is a nature boy.

Be Prepared!
Anything can happen when you're camping. Add a toddler into the mix, and there is a whole new definition to "anything can happen." Be sure to be prepared as possible. Before camping with a child, we always brought along a first aid kit that included Band-Aids, instant cold packs, ointment, your typical first aid kit materials. Since Kid has joined us, we have added Tylenol, a thermometer, a nose aspirator, kid-friendly bug spray and sunscreen, and children's Benadryl.

We are not only prepared with a first aid kit, though. We bring favorite toys, loads of extra clothing, Kid's favorite Little Tykes rocking horse, and plenty of diapers. And food. Food, food, food. Think of everything that could happen at home, and be prepared for it.

Be Flexible!
Toddlers throw timing and schedules out the window. Especially when they are taken out of their "normal" environment. While we try to keep nap time at the same time, it just doesn't always happen. Being outside is exciting! It may take an extra hour for the kiddo to tire out and fall asleep. Or, they may need to nap an hour or two earlier. Go with it. It will make your camping trip much more enjoyable!

Do What You Have To!
A lot of parents are concerned about creating bad habits. Me, too. But when you're camping? You just have to do what you can to make it work. Kid thinks our camper is pretty awesome. In fact, he has woken up on various nights at three in the morning thinking it's play time. So we did what we had to do to get him back to sleep. Co-sleeping worked in the past, but not this time. So we strapped him into his car seat and drove to town and back. Is this something that we would do while at home? No. Kid loves the car too much as of late. I think he'd want a car ride before bed every night. But to keep our sanity on the campground (and not disturb the other campers, peacefully sleeping)? Drive the car around. Lull him back to sleep. Don't be afraid to "ruin" the child's behavior. Just do what you have to do to keep everyone content, including yourself!

Changes

Don't worry.

I'm not about to write a post about how I'm not going to be blogging anymore.

I'm not about to write a post about how my blog is going through some huge changes.

Nope.

I'm about to write about how changes are hard on me. And the things that helped me as a kiddo.

I've always struggled with change and with the unknown. And I'm feeling that same way, sitting at the library, getting ready to tutor a few students on my first day of summer.

Kid is hanging out with his Pa (my dad), the hubs is teaching summer school. And I'm left wondering how fast will this summer fly by? As I grow my to-do list by leaps and bounds, will I get everything done?

Since I was little, I have had a very difficult time with change. My fourth grade teacher was out on maternity leave for the entire first semester. She came back after winter break. On the first day back to school in January, I was so nervous and anxious, I threw up. My breakfast flew all over my day care lady's bathroom. And I could not go to school. Would I like the new teacher? Would she be nice?

Even before that, though, I remember feeling nervous about the unknown. My best friend and next door neighbor had to meet me at the door of our Sunday School classroom and walk me in each week. Even though I knew everyone in the classroom. I was in first grade.

I dropped out of preschool because I couldn't wouldn't leave my mom's side. I had three cousins in that classroom. Still, I couldn't handle it.

While I am much more prepared to handle change, I have had a long history of anxiety when it comes to the unkown. In my thirty years, I have learned many ways to deal with my fear of change and the unknown and I feel as though I have a toolbox ready and waiting for when someone I know needs help. (I want to say my child, but he may not have deal with those issues and I don't want to project my problems onto him!)

Keep in mind that I am not an expert, nor am I a physchologist. I'm a mom. These are my Tips & Tricks.

1. Seek comfort. I imagine that it had to get old real quick bringing your child to school and waiting for her friend to walk her in the door. By my mom was only providing me with the comfort I needed to make that transition. This is something I would like to provide for Kid. Yes, I want to push him to do things that make him a little uncomfortable. That's how kids learn and grow. But, I also want him to know that it is okay to seek comfort if he needs it. I'll hold his hand as long as he needs me to. I'll wait with him until his friend is there to walk him into the Sunday School classroom.

2. Take it slowly. I couldn't handle having too many activities scheduled in a week. It was always too much "newness" for me. While I think that scheduled activities are wonderful, and a great place for children to learn how to interact with their peers, I also think that they can bring a lot of stress. Sidenote: I think that some people are far to scheduled and that kids need time to just play outside. If I notice that my child struggles with newness and/or change, I'm not going to sign him up for a million activities thinking that exposure will help him. We will do one new thing at a time, allowing Kid to get comfortable with the new situation until it is no longer "new."

3. Encouragement is priceless. My mom is the queen of encouragement and I'd like to follow in her shoes. She has always told me to work on breaking out of my shell, to practice making small talk. I can hear her saying, "You'll be glad you figured it out before I did...I'm fifty and just figuring it out. You're twenty. Get out there, girl." While she encourages me to break out of my shell, I will encourage Kid (and any other children Hubs and I may be blessed with).

I only hope that Hubs and I can provide for Kid what my parents provided for me. A helping hand. Encouraging words. An excuse to stay home if it was just getting to be too much. I hope that Hubs and I realize that, sometimes, kids can be pushed too hard. Sure, they're resiliant, but they can only take so much.

And at the end of the day, they just need a lap to sit on, arms to cuddle up in, and a kiss on the forehead.

Tips and Tricks for Buying and Selling Online

Amazing deals can be found online. A lot of people post things for sale on Facebook and their blogs, but the go-to place is Craigslist.

The hubs and I have found some amazing deals on Craigslist. We’ve purchased a high chair, a changing table, the Chariot, and plenty of other items. We’ve also sold a handful of things, including our living room furniture that I hated. One man’s trash is another man’s treasure, right?

(although, the furniture was not trashy; in fact, it was in wonderful condition!).

Buying and selling online can be easy-peasy, sort of scary, and/or just plain difficult. I have learned a few things in my day on how to best use Craigslist (in my day – I sound so old).

Tips for Selling on Craigslist

1.       Include a lot of description in your post. Take the time to measure the large item you’re selling (such as furniture!). This will eliminate a step because, more often than not, a potential buyer would like to know the dimensions.

2.       Like an enjoyable blog post, a good Craigslist ad includes a picture (or 4). A buyer will ask for one, anyway. I, for one, don’t look at posts that don’t contain images. I want to see the condition of the item I plan to buy. When I first started using Craigslist, I would look at any and all postings. One of my first messages to the seller asked for pictures. Including them from the start is the best plan.

Tips for Buying on Craigslist

1.       Look for the posts with pictures. Honestly, it is so easy for the seller to add photos to their post. Pictures show a buy exactly what is being sold. And, to give you a cliché, a picture is worth a thousand words.

2.       Attempt to meet the seller in a public place. I am a paranoid person. If I’m getting into my car late at night, I get in and lock the doors behind me. Paranoia at its finest. Meeting in a public place really is the safest route. That way, nobody has to go into anyone else’s home. Safety first.

3.       Along those same lines, let some else know when and where the transaction is taking place. I recently purchased a chair for Kid that clips on to a table. I called my mom when I arrived at the meeting place, and called her right back after I made the purchase and was safely in my car. Even better, though? Bring someone along. Safety first, my friends, safety first.

4.       Negotiate. Unless the posting says that the price is firm, it is usually possible to purchase an item for less than the asking price. In fact, I have never paid the asking price for something I’ve purchased on Craigslist. Sellers usually want to get rid of an item as soon as possible, anyway. So offer a price that it is a little less than what is listed. It never hurts to ask.

(can you spot how many clichés I just used?)

Jokes aside, though. Safety really is the most important then when buying or selling on Craigslist. If something about the transaction feels a little fishy, forget about it. A used item for sale on the internet isn’t that important, anyway.